I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
