Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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