If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
