You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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