O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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