i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
