its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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