I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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