just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
