I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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