Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize