flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize