just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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