I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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