Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
