sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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