yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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