and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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