In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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