i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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