i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She is in my trunk
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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