i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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