guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize