Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
