doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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