I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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