Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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