Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
