i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
