How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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