Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
