I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I puked a lego.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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