I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
