I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
