I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
