i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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