True but thats because hes a fetus.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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