I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
