I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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