i just had sex bonerless
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
