Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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