Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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