i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
