I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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