and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
