I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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