I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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