i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
