Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think pants incapable of making pants work