oh good, I think they're gone
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.