think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
