i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
