mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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