im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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