The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
