oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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