then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?