she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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