Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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