Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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