i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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