is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
